What to Bring (and What Not to Bring) to a Funeral
Attending a funeral is an act of compassion and respect. Whether you’re saying goodbye to a close friend, a relative, or supporting someone who’s grieving, the way you prepare can make a meaningful difference.
At Roupp Funeral Home, we often hear the same questions: “What should I bring?” or “Is it okay to bring flowers, a card, or food?”
This guide will help you feel confident and respectful as you attend a funeral or memorial service by knowing what gestures are appropriate and which ones to avoid.
What to Bring to a Funeral
1. A Sympathy Card or Handwritten Note
A simple, heartfelt card is one of the most meaningful things you can bring. If you knew the person who passed away, share a short memory or comforting message. If you didn’t know them personally, express your condolences to the family.
Tip: Keep your message sincere and brief. A handwritten note is often more meaningful than a store-bought message alone.
2. Flowers or a Memorial Arrangement
Flowers are a traditional way to express sympathy and respect. You can send them directly to the funeral home before the service or bring them with you if that’s customary.
Common choices include:
- Lilies (purity, restored innocence)
- Roses (love, respect)
- Carnations (remembrance)
- Orchids (eternal love)
Check the obituary or funeral announcement first. Some families may request donations instead of flowers.
3. A Donation or Memorial Contribution
Many families ask that memorial donations be made to a charity, church, or organization meaningful to their loved one. Bringing a card that includes your donation information (or sending it afterward) is a thoughtful way to honor their memory.
4. Food for the Family (When Appropriate)
After the service, families are often emotionally and physically drained. Providing a home-cooked meal, dessert, or easy-to-heat dish can be a huge comfort.
It’s important to bring the food directly to the family’s home rather than the funeral home, as food is not allowed in the room with the body. This also prevents the awkward situation of food sitting in the car during the service. If you’re unsure, check with a close family member or friend beforehand to ensure your gesture is welcomed and logistically manageable.

5. Yourself - Your Presence Matters Most
Sometimes the most powerful gift you can bring is simply your presence. Offering a hug, listening ear, or kind word can mean more than anything tangible. Being there to support those who are grieving is often remembered long after the service ends.
What Not to Bring to a Funeral
1. Bright or Casual Attire
While funerals today are sometimes less formal, it’s best to dress conservatively unless told otherwise. Avoid bright colors, flashy patterns, or overly casual clothing (like jeans or sneakers) unless the family has requested a specific theme or “celebration of life” attire.
2. Large Gifts or Personal Items
A funeral is not the time for grand gestures. Avoid bringing large or personalized gifts unless they were specifically requested by the family. Keep it simple, thoughtful, and respectful.
3. Phones and Distractions
Turn your phone off or set it to silent before entering. Taking photos, recording, or using your phone during the service can be disruptive and disrespectful. If you must use your phone (for directions or emergencies), step outside quietly.
4. Strong Scents or Perfumes
Many services are held in smaller spaces, and strong fragrances can overwhelm others or even trigger allergies. A light, neutral scent or none at all is best.
5. Negative Emotions or Unresolved Tensions
Funerals can bring many people together, sometimes after years apart. Even if emotions are high, it’s best to keep interactions calm, kind, and focused on honoring the person who has passed away.
Every funeral is unique, and so are the families we serve.
At Roupp Funeral Home, we encourage guests to approach each service with compassion, mindfulness, and respect. Whether you bring a card, flowers, a meal, or simply your presence, what matters most is your intention to offer comfort and support in a difficult time.
If you have questions about funeral etiquette or what’s appropriate for an upcoming service, our team is always here to help. Contact Roupp Funeral Home for guidance or visit our website to learn more about funeral planning and support resources.













