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Coping with the Grief of Losing a Mom

Published: May 3, 2021

Losing a mom is never an easy experience and in many ways could be life changing. Realizing that you will no longer be able to share life’s simple joys together can make the heartbreak seem even more unbearable. And the thought of celebrating special days on your own can make it more difficult for you to cope.

If you are still grieving the loss of your mother, know that what you are going through is completely normal. There’s no need for you to rush the process of grieving, and there’s no need for you to compare how you handle your pain to the way others do. Different people express their grief in different ways, and the same goes with finding things to do that can bring comfort.

On days when you feel like the pain is too much to bear, there are a few things that you can try doing to cope with your loss.

On days when you just want to lay low

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to avoid certain days that remind you of your mom, especially when the pain is still fresh in your memory. So here’s what you can do:

1. Keep yourself busy

One of the most effective ways to divert your mind off your pain is by doing things that will keep your attention off the heartbreak. Instead of dwelling on your loss and hurting even more in the process, why not try doing something extra productive? Maybe you can do some spring cleaning, or do some gardening, or maybe even cook some meals. Here are some ideas you might find useful if you love to cook or want some delicious recipes to try.

2. Minimize your exposure to anything that will aggravate your loss

This is especially true on special days like Mother’s Day, when everyone else is celebrating their mothers. If celebrations like that trigger a fresh wave of pain, try limiting your exposure to anything associated with that celebration.

3. Take time to do self-care

When we grieve, we often forget that we need to take care of ourselves too. Try doing even one simple self-care activity every day. You might be surprised, but doing something as simple as taking a well-deserved break can do so much to help ease your pain.

On days when you want to remember your mom

In time, you’ll probably want to go back in time to relive the beautiful memories you’ve shared with your mom. To make the process less painful, here are some things you can do:

1. Go someplace where you feel closest to your mom

It could be the church your mom frequented, or a spot that you used to love going with her. Or it could be her grave; anywhere where you feel closest to her. Revisiting these places can bring bittersweet memories that will help you remember all the things you love about her.

2. Go through your memories

Take the time to go over photographs of your mom and reminisce about the beautiful life she lived. Or maybe you have letters, cards, or other items stored that will help you remember her life. Going through these things can help you feel connected to your mom despite the loss.

No matter how you may try to cope with your grief, remember that there’s no right or wrong way to deal with your pain. But find comfort in knowing that you are not alone in your grief, and that someday soon the pain will subside and be replaced with gratitude for the gift of your mom’s life.

Keep in mind that you are not alone. If the burden of your loss is too heavy to bear, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Join an online grief support group such as GriefShare that could help you go through these painful times, or sign up for grief support daily emails and get a support message from us every day for a whole year.

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